


glow red (blossom into flame)

by doodlingstories



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, F/M, Fix-It, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Recovery, Retirement, brief Pepper Potts/Happy Hogan, by this point we all know i dont do betaing lol, im in denial about endgame so im FIXING IT, its very brief, mild May Parker/Happy Hogan, this is a hot mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-02-26 23:29:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18727039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doodlingstories/pseuds/doodlingstories
Summary: “I am inevitable,” Thanos says through his grin.Thanos snaps his fingers, and nothing happens.or; Tony became a lost soul, Pepper doesn't know what to do, Peter wishes for Tony to come back, and Morgan is the glue that keeps them all together.





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> title is from the song Hot Knifer by Peach Pit
> 
> "Glow red blossom into flame, further in the night, you've been gone way too long"
> 
> (it's a good song, highly recommend)

 

One week after the funeral, Pepper calls Peter.

“I need someone to watch Morgan for me. I know it’s a little out of your way-”

“Of course! But, I uh-”

“Happy will pick you up.”

“O-oh! Yeah. Cool. See you in, uh, not too long then.”

 

 

“Sorry about the short notice,” Pepper says as Peter gets out of the car, “it’s just, I haven’t ever let someone who wasn’t family watch over her, you know?”

Peter feels his heart swell slightly at the mention of him being part of the family.

“It’s no problem! I wasn’t really doing anything anyways. School’s still on hold. Besides,” Peter smiles, “we’re gonna have a good time. Aren’t we, squirt?”

Morgan gives him a tentative smile and just nods.

Pepper doesn’t really need to give him a tour of the house; Peter knows where everything is, more or less. The funeral had been held right outside their house by the lake. Though his connection to the house was a somber one, he was determined not to let the memories of a ghost scare him off.

In short, Peter was more than ready to replace the bad memories of the place with some good ones.

“I’ll be back in about three hours. Lord knows why I ever agreed to living this far from civili-”

Pepper never finishes her sentence. She claps her hand over her mouth and runs off. Peter’s eyes widen, before he runs after her. He picks Morgan up with his right hand and carries her with the ease only an enhanced person would have. He follows Pepper all the way to the bathroom, Morgan firmly in his grasp. Once he gets to the bathroom he finds her hunched over the toilet.

And then she throws up.

Peter winces, and turns Morgan’s head away.

“FRIDAY? Please don’t tell me this is what I think it is.” Pepper says weakly.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Stark. It appears you’re experiencing pregnancy symptoms, similar to those you experienced when pregnant with little Ms. Morgan.”

“Shit,” whispers Morgan.

 _Shit_ indeed.

  


Anthony Nate Stark is born 9 months later. He enters the world screaming, like all other newborn babies. That isn’t a problem. At least, not at first. When he cried on the day he was born, it wasn’t a problem because it was usually seen as a good thing when a baby wailed after exiting the mothers womb.

It doesn’t become a problem until Pepper returns home, in fact.

Anthony just won’t stop crying.

“I don’t know what to do,” Pepper cries, shushing and bouncing Anthony up and down, “Morgan never cried like this. I’ve done everything possible to make him stop crying! I’m so out of my element, I think I’m going insane.”

“Here,” Peter says, holding out his hands, “you deserve a break. Let me take care of him.”

“Oh, I can’t-”

“Sure you can. Morgan can help me out.”

Morgan puffs out her chest at this, “Yeah! Don’t worry mommy. The spa is texting your name!”

Peter rolls his eyes dramatically, “ _Calling_ , Morgan, not texting.”

She waves her hand, “Same thing.”

Peter and Pepper lock eyes.

(When she waves her hand like that, makes comments like that, acts so flippant like that, they’re both reminded of the same thing. Of the same _person_.

It hurts more than it should.)

 

 

In the end, Morgan is the one who gets Anthony to stop crying (albeit, only temporarily. In the morning when he wakes, they’re back to square one.)

Peter isn’t quite sure how he misses it with his enhanced senses, but he does. Later, he’ll conclude that it was the exhaustion he felt from all of his responsibilities that numbed down his hearing.

The thing he misses is this:

Anthony waking up from his nap with a cry, and Morgan skipping her way to her brother’s room and cradle.

By that point, Peter has heard the cries. He runs up the stairs, and swiftly gets to Anthony’s room. Morgan stands on top of a chair, and in her hand she holds a blue light. The blue light is reminiscent of the arc reactor of a certain hero that died about a year ago.

Morgan tilts her head and scrunches her nose.

Then, she whispers, “It’s okay. I miss him too. Dad used to put on this light when I couldn’t sleep when I was a baby. And I’m not a baby anymore, so I don’t need it. You’re a baby, though. So… here.”

Peter holds his breath, and leans against the wall as he watches it all unfold in front of him. Morgan places the blue light on the diaper changing station that’s placed right next to the cradle. To Peter’s surprise, Anthony seems to… get quieter.

“I know you’re a baby and that babies are supposed to cry. That’s why I don’t mind.”

And quieter.

“I still love you 3000, even if you love to cry. I love you 3000, just like dad and mom and Peter.”

Anthony falls asleep once more, and Peter lets out the breath he’d been holding in. Morgan turns around, and nearly jumps at the sight of Peter.

He smiles, “Good job. Want a popsicle for a job well done?”

She glares at him, “ _Sh!_ He’s sleeping!”

She jumps down from the chair with a small _thump_. She walks towards the door, and on the way out of Anthony’s room she grabs Peter's hand, dragging him out with her.

Peter closes the door after them.

Together, they walk down the stairs and head to the kitchen to get the popsicles Peter had proposed as a reward.

They sit on top of the kitchen aisle, letting their legs dangle.

Morgan is unusually quiet. Peter thinks he might be able to guess why. He wants to outright ask what’s wrong, but has learned by now that Morgan doesn’t like it when he pushes. She’ll tell him eventually what’s bothering her.

She finally tells him after he has tucked her in.

“I miss dad,” Morgan tells Peter, “and I think Anthony does too."

Peter gives her a sad smile, “Anthony didn’t even get to know your dad.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Morgan says in an exasperated tone, “He misses him because he never got to see him - not like you and me!”

Peter doesn’t say anything.

Peter kisses her on the cheek, tells her goodnight, and closes the door after him.

  


“She said Anthony is crying because he misses his dad.” Peter tells Pepper not long after her arrival.

“How can you miss something you’ve never had?” Pepper asks.

“I don’t know.”

 

 

 

(In the morning, Anthony wakes up with a cry.)

 


	2. soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’ve been asleep.”
> 
> “For how long?” Tony holds his breath.
> 
> Strange glances at Wong, and says “Approximately one hour.”
> 
> Tony blinks.
> 
> “One hour?! ” Tony jumps out of the bed he’d been sitting in, “You’re telling me I have been asleep for one hour.”

While Thanos is basking in the glory of the win, Tony puts the infinity stones in their slots on his self-made gauntlet.

The Avengers don’t get to see him lifting his hand, high above his head.

He listens to Thanos’ nonsensical rambling, biding his time and waiting for him to realize that he doesn’t have the stones any more.

“I am inevitable,” Thanos says through his grin.

Thanos snaps his fingers, and nothing happens.

“I am Iron Man,” Tony breathes though gritted teeth.

Tony snaps his fingers, and everything changes.

 

 

 

 

(The last thing Tony sees after he snaps his fingers is Peter and Pepper, surrounded by an orange hue. Morgan is there too, though he knows she is a hallucination.

“We won, Mr. Stark.” Peter softly cries.

“You can rest now.” Pepper whispers.

“ _I love you 3000, daddy._ ”

They give him a sad smile and everything around him disappears.)

 

 

 

 

Tony has felt pain before. He has had people prodding near his heart, and he has had people make him rely on a battery box in order to survive. He has endured torture, has nearly drowned, and has nearly been killed by someone he had thought of as a friend.

Tony has felt  _pain_ before.

Never before has he felt pain like this.

He cannot scream, he cannot move, he cannot  _breathe_ ; he is trapped in his own body, and there is no way out. The pain pulsates in his veins and in his blood, which doesn’t make sense to him because he knows his heart has stopped beating ages ago.

The pain is eternal; and eternal is something Tony is not.

He floats away, in and out of consciousness, and is only vaguely aware of the fact that his body isn’t quite alive anymore. Only his mind is.  _His soul_.

He silently begs for his soul to be freed, but knows that the stones demanded a sacrifice for his wish.

And so, he stays.

(They say certain things get better with age.

This endless prison Tony finds himself in does not.)

 

 

 

 

Time doesn’t feel linear to Tony anymore. Some days, he feels like the pain drags on and on for weeks at a time. Other days, when he drifts in and out of consciousness, the pain lasts only for one second.

He has never been more aware, yet also unaware at the same time, of his own being.

Suddenly, out of the blue, the pain changes. It shifts into something much more bearable. Something… dull.

And then it shifts back into pain once more. Tony drifts off, vaguely aware of the green hue that now surrounds him.

 

 

 

 

(When the pain ceases, Tony reflects only for a moment about the choice he had made that saved the entire universe.

Because in spite of it all, he knows he’d do it all again.)

 

 

 

 

“- isn’t as good as the old one.”

“Wong.”

“What?”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

A huff, “I’m not being ridiculous. Hulk-A-Hulking Burning Fudge shouldn’t have been changed. It’s salty now. I don’t like it.”

Tony groans. The voices seem to stop at the sound of his groan. There’s a  _whizzing_ sound and then the sound of footsteps.

“Oh, you’re awake.”  _That sounds like Stephen Strange,_ Tony faintly thinks.

Tony’s eyes flutter open, and sure enough, there he is. Strange is perched over Tony, and his facial expression is that of someone acting pleasantly surprised.

“Please don’t tell me you kissed me. I’m a married man,” Tony’s voice is surprisingly raspy; so much so that he feels outright surprised at the sound of his own voice.

Strange quirks an eyebrow, and slowly moves two steps away from Tony “I can assure you, no one has kissed you.”

“What-” Tony coughs because of how dry his throat is, “what’s going on?”

To Tony’s dismay, Strange’s expression reveals nothing. Tony tries to rack his brain, tries to dig up the last memory from before he’d been nothing but a lost soul traveling through space and time. It turns out to be surprisingly difficult; at the moment his brain is nothing but a jumbled mess, a clear aftereffect of coming out of wherever the fuck he’d been.

He’s about to ask him why he can’t remember anything, when suddenly all the memories crash down on him like a hurricane.

 

( _Snap._

Peter. Dust. Space. Hunger. Oxygen. Carol. Earth. Home. Pepper. Hopelessness. Wedding. Baby. Morgan. Lake. Time. Howard. Bruce.

_Snap._

Life. Explosion. Battle. Peter. Thanos. One. Inevitable. Iron Man.

 _Snap._ )

 

“One out of four million,” Tony blurts out and shoots up into a sitting position. To anyone who didn’t know what he was talking about, they’d think him insane. Thankfully, Strange did know and immediately understands what Tony was trying to say.

“Well, four million six hundred and five, to be precise,” he replies, and  _God_ , Tony is suddenly reminded of how annoying he’d found his smirk before.

“Cut the shit. We won? Right? We did it. My mind isn’t making this up, it can’t be, it’s too real, too detailed not to be.”

Strange’s sentient cape seems to be making a strange motion, as if it’s trying to tell Tony something. Strange slaps it lightly. Then, he looks Tony straight in the eyes.

“We won,” he confirms with a small nod, “sacrifices were made, no doubt… but ultimately, we won.”

“Good. That’s- yeah, that’s good,” Tony says. He glances around the room. It’s then that he notices Wong in the corner of the room. He’s looking at them with a bored expression, and has his arms crossed across his chest. Tony’s eyes inspect his surroundings.

He wasn’t in a hospital. The walls in the room were far too dark to be a hospital. And, from what Tony could tell, there was no IV or any of the usual machinery found at a hospital. In fact, Tony couldn’t even spot so much as a single thing that was reminiscent of a hospital.

He turns to look at Strange once more.

“So, uh, where are we? And why am I not in a hospital with my family weeping over my injured body or whatnot?”

Strange licks his lips, “Ah. About that…”

 _Oh no_. Tony didn’t like that tone.

“You’ve been asleep.”

“For how long?” Tony holds his breath.

Strange glances at Wong, and says “Approximately one hour.”

Tony blinks.

“One  _hour?!_ ” Tony jumps out of the bed he’d been sitting in, “You’re telling me I have been asleep for  _one_ hour.”

One hour. One measly hour. It sure as hell hadn’t  _felt_ like just one hour. It had felt like an eternity. If it weren’t for Strange and Wong looking somewhat the same since the last time he’d seen them, he’d have thunk a century had passed him by. Or worse, an entire millennia.

(Steve was supposed to be the man out of time; not Tony.)

“You might want to sit down,” Strange says slowly, “your body is a new one and it’s gonna take some getting used to. Well, it isn’t a  _brand_ new one. It’s a duplicate of your old one. Knew it would come in handy, so I made it when you weren’t looking while we were on Titan.”

Tony blinks.  _New body_.  _Duplicate_.  _Come in handy_. It takes a few seconds for Tony to truly process the implications of that. This wasn’t his usual body. Strange had prepared for this; had prepared for the outcome where Tony would be bereft of his body. But, then again, Strange had known the future, hadn’t he?

“Okay, what the  _shit_ , Harry Potter.”

“I’m a sorcerer, not a wizard.” Strange deadpans, clearly more than used to having heard that specific comparison before.

“The first book is called sorcerer’s stone, dumbass.”

“Actually, the original book isn’t called that. It’s philosopher’s stone.”

“Okay, okay, but let’s- let’s backtrack for a second.”

“Good idea.”

“I was gone for one hour.” Tony states.

“Wrong.” Strange says.

“Wh-  _but you just said…!_ ”

“I said you have been asleep for one hour. In your new body. Huge difference.”

Tony grits his teeth together, “Then explain what’s happening! Because I may be a genius, but without any information it’s pretty difficult to understand what you’re trying to tell me here.”

Strange rolls his eyes.

“Sit. Wong, could you bring him some water?”

“If you wanted me out of the room you could’ve just said so,” Wong grunts, and then promptly leaves the room. Tony glances back up at Strange, and his throat feels weirdly tight all of a sudden. 

“Please just- I want to see my family. What is it that you aren’t telling me?” Tony asks in a low voice, reluctantly sitting back down on the bed he’d woken up in.

Strange gives him a sad smile.

“It’s been a year since you died, Tony.”

Tony blinks.

“Much has changed. And… I’m afraid to tell you that your family don’t know you’re back. Mainly because I couldn’t tell them without disrupting the timeline. I’m sorry.”

 _His family didn’t know that he wasn’t dead._ Tony pales.

“ _Shit_.”

Thank God Morgan wasn’t there to hear him use mommy’s word.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank god exams are over oh my god

**Author's Note:**

> i've got about a billion different fix-it ideas, but had the most inspiration for this one for some weird reason.
> 
> i've also cried so many times over the ending of endgame. objectively, i can see why they'd kill off tony.. but subjectively, i'm mad and sad that morgan won't be able to grow up with her father.
> 
> feel free to scream with me at both endgame and the new far from home trailer in the comments lol


End file.
